A blog about all things pertaining to Trent Lott, Leadership and Blogs.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Reflections on Summer Blog

The trepidation-tinged excitement, the perpetual preoccupation with polishing my act before the lights dimmed, the pervasive assumption of an initiation into the rareified and transcendent craft of teaching ... what a fool I've been.

Looking back, I find this to be the most striking feature of my summer blogs, this sentiment that I was on the cusp of something life-changing and utterly foreign to all my prior experiences. But time inevitably breeds familiarity, reminding one that after all life is life and thanks to the space age we're all well aware that there's nothing new above the sun either. This job certainly has it's disroportionate share of headaches, heartaches and satisfying experiences, but it's still a job when all is said and done. Maybe I'm not so much jaded as spoiled and I've forgotten the soul-calcifying torpor of a regular desk job, but I'm also a big proponent of the idea that you can make any experience into what you choose because they're all really the same when you get down to it.

So teaching is a bit routine right now. To be honest, I've found it still hasn't lived up to either extreme, it's neither as difficult nor as satisfying as I've been led to believe. Sure the kids drive me nuts some days and make me feel like I'm fresh off the boat, and sometimes they learn really well and that's kind of fun, but yeah ... really just another job with a little added dash of tabasco or something.

Right now I've got to find away from staying off autopilot. It's easy to challenge yourself at the start when you're helpless and have no other choice, but this is much harder when you're doing well enough but still have room for growth. Hopefully that beatiful winter break coming like a sprite can in the desert will allow me some time to reevaluate and find someway to ward off this incipient ennui.

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